The Humpus

“Single or together – always a pleasure”

So what exactly is the Humpus? We would describe it as a sex machine, however the term “sex machine” often conjures up the image of something large, cumbersome and noisy. The Humpus isn’t your average sex machine and has been developed to be compact, quiet and adaptable for both men and women. Designed with an attractive purple and white colour scheme, the internal parts of the unit have been crafted from high grade stainless steel and cast metal etc. In addition to the compact base unit, the Humpus comes with two interchangeable attachments, which currently include a stroker for men and a dildo for women.

A Unique Hands-Free Experience

Using the adjustable belt, which is supplied with the Humpus, you will find yourself experiencing a totally unique masturbation experience! The belt holds the base unit in place on your abdomen, leaving your hands free to relax or stimulate other areas. Additionally the speed and motion of the Humpus can be controlled using a remote control, which is cleverly stored within the unit. The Humpus strokes at a rate as low as 80 strokes per minute, but can then be steadily increased to a maximum rate of 180 strokes per minute.

All you need to do to use the Humpus is apply your favourite lube, lie back and let your imagination run wild. Use the remote to vary the speed for a truly realistic experience – this machine is one of the best sex toys for men as it replicates hand and wrist movement, and with plenty of lube it will feel like an amazing blow job! Women can easily alter the depth of penetration, or position the Humpus so that it only stimulates the clitoris.

Why not try using it whilst interacting with your favourite live cam model or watching a porn movie? However you choose to enjoy the Humpus it’s important to take your time and truly relax – be teased by the Humpus, allow it to work its magic and bring you to an explosive climax!

A Sex Machine for Couples

The Humpus needn’t be hidden away in secret and used only whilst your other half is out of the house! Having an attachment for both men and women makes this the perfect sex toy for couples. Attach it to your partner and remove the remote – the power is now in your hands and you are able to tease your partner by stopping, starting, increasing or decreasing the pleasure!

Maybe you’ve previously considered exploring a threesome fantasy. This is a very common desire, however it often causes problems within a relationship. You may not want to suggest it to your partner, or perhaps you’re not quite comfortable with the idea of sharing. Instead of risking your relationship, use the Humpus as a substitute. Lie back, close your eyes and as the Humpus and your partner stimulates you, you can truly imagine that you’re experiencing your fantasy!

Secret link! Thanks to a couple of professional porn stars we`re able to show you our pilot (test) advertising video. It is not a demonstration video nor is it a porn movie, it was simply made for fun. Copy and paste the link into your address bar.

Disability and Sex

If you have limited hand movement or difficulty using your hands, then the Humpus could be the ideal solution for you! This sex machine does not require the use of your hands, other than to push the buttons on the remote control. Once the machine is in place you can enjoy a mind-blowing masturbation experience. Disabled users are already feeling the benefits that the Humpus has to offer. One user had a problem with numbness in the hands and fingers, which made masturbation difficult, so they decided to give the Humpus a try…and what did they think? – “The Humpus is amazing and I doubt I will ever use my hands to masturbate again!”

The Future of the Humpus

The Humpus is designed to be adaptable, which means that it has endless possibilities. Currently it comes with two attachments – the dildo and the stroker. However, in the near future we’re releasing further attachments that can be bought separately, including:

• An anal probe – the anal probe has a stimulating wave along the shaft. This probe is perfect for pleasuring your anus whilst masturbating, or for using whilst having sex with a partner.
• Vibrator – with a larger girth than the dildo and with stimulating bumps along the shaft and various vibration settings.
• Male Sleeve - with a virginal opening and a longer in length tunnel with nodules and bumps.

New attachments will not be available for purchase until at least mid 2015.

Buy with Confidence

Compared to most sex machines the Humpus has a very low price tag.

Lindsey Dawn McKenzie a world famous porn star and writer/columist for a UK national newspaper reported (after seeing the Humpus at the ETO Show, an adult`s only trade show) "it`s the most exciting thing I have ever seen, it is absolutely mind blowing and this new machine looks the real deal. I would pay £500 for one".

You can pay securely for your Humpus using Paypal or a credit card. We will then package your compact sex machine in a plain, discreet brown box, for complete privacy. Once your Humpus arrives the fun can really begin!

We found this thread/post on the Fleshlight forums website by Kenman2626 titled "Humpus - My detailed experience". Although there is alot to read we think it is worth it.

Humpus - My detailed experience. By Kenman2626.

I remember the first amazing moment that I slid into a fleshlight several years ago (although unknown to me it was going to get better) it felt good to finally have some kind of toy that really enhanced masturbation for me. I've tried and enjoyed various new textures but nothing has ever really been drastically different.

I've just tried out the Humpus a couple of times and am so blown away that I finally joined this forum that I've been following for a several years to share something special. Because I am so dumb founded as to why this device hasn't got any attention. All I can find are a couple of youtube reviews and just a vague mention of it here and there. No homemade videos. Then there seems to be only 1 thread on it here by a guy trying to enhance it by swapping the flesh ring that comes with the Humpus with a sliced off piece of Fleshlight. Got to admire the creativity here.

So anyway, let meexplain my experience.

Firstly it said in the manual it would take 12 hours to recharge initially but I got it to work within 10mins of charging. I think the 12 hour thing is if the toy has been away from the 'factory' for months but I got it shipped to Canada from the UK (unfortunately the only place you can order it from) and it only took about 7-10 days. Lots of expensive shipping and taxes etc but as you'll discover I believe it was totally worth it from my experience so far.

The real genius of this toy is the belt. It's really simple to use and by using it you can strap it around you tightly with velcro. This means that at long last I have a toy which gives me hands free pleasure that requires no work from me at all. I lubed myself up, not an insane amount (about the same amount as a fleshlight) and proceeded to lie down on my back. I easily fit into the flesh ring and it adjusted to my girth and provided a nice hug. I set the stroke length to 1 and turned it on.

It was stroking the base of my cock nice and hard. I wanted a deeper stroke and by changing the stroke length to 6 (full) and adjusting the strap so the device was closer up my body I was in heaven. There is something incredible about no hands stimulation and not being in control. The way it goes up and down is great too, it doesn't go up and down at the same speed. When it goes down it's with a bit more of a punch which somehow makes it feel more natural. I lasted about 10 minutes and never REALLY needed to put extra lube on (during use) but I did anyway just to see what it was like. Didn't make a great difference.It felt comfortable throughout the session. There was even a moment when adjusting it that the ring escaped my head and went back on and off completely again and again and for 30 seconds that was a pleasant variation but preferred the hugging. Point is even if you escape the ring and it starts bashing your head it's not painful. This ONLY happened during adjustment, if you're strapped in properly it will stay on you perfectly through to cumming (and beyond).

I came so hard, it does that thing of stretching that feeling of orgasm coming where it just aches blissfully, tingles and then you come so hard. I shot all over my upper stomach and the Humpus kept stroking. I love being stroke dafter ejaculation and it never got painful from being over sensitive for me personally. You have remote so it's easy to turn off if it was causing any discomfort.

Ok, let's get the bad part out of the way. The noise. I've seen videos of other automated devices like autoblow and they sound stupidly loud. The humpus isn't that bad but to be honest even on slowest setting if you live with others it's going to be noticeable. If you live on your own then at the lowest speeds it's not going to be heard by neighbours even without any music. If you play music I think you could get away at the fastest speeds. I'm a bit paranoid about noises and worry that at the fastest speeds people would still notice but I tell myself that it sounds like a cycling machine. It could quite easily be that. I'm not comfortable using it after 11pm but I'm really really cautious about my noise pollution and I'm the same with the volume of my television late at night.

So a couple of hours Itried it again. Now if you've seen the video demos on the official website what I did above is about the limits of this device. Well I explored it further and my god, it gets so much better.

So my first thought wasto try this whilst sat on my computer chair surfing porn. It strapped perfectly even whilst sitting down and was not uncomfortable in the least. It soon felt like I was being stroked whilst I sat back and continued to surf porn. How incredible is that!? I've always dreamt of this and here we are! But I wanted to experiment more and turned it on fastest/deepest stroke and it was mindblowing. No this isn't anything like getting head by a partner because it's more or less doing the same thing again and again but I found even subtle movements or adjustments could really change the sensations. You find the same thing with a Fleshlight, turning it at different angles can create new sensations. Same here. You can totally adjust in such away that it massages key areas of your head, at one point I was able to make it feel like I was getting little licks under the front rim of my shaft. Little adjusting and it's back to full strokes. I can see this being a learning experience to understand exactly how to get what you want out of it.

One other neat thing I noticed with high speed stroking that whilst seating the ring would go down and the device would go up and then the device would go down and the ring up. In a way the device felt like a head bopping up and down, it helped make it feel more intense. That wasn't enough, I kept getting more curious. So I tried standing up. Yes, it felt like someone was on their knees giving me (somewhat robotic) head! So good. The finale however was discovering that one of my favorite sex acts is possible with this device. When I've had partners I love to be on all fours whilst getting stroked from behind. You can totally get on all fours and the device will stay there and stroke you off! I put it to fastest speed and just didn't care about the noise anymore and shot a huge load within 3 minutes. Such an intense orgasm!

I'm really exciteda bout using this again in the future. I'm sure there are other ways to expand it's possibilities. I'm curious to try it with a prostate massager and I'm actually curious if it would be possible to use the 'dildo' extension by attaching it in a certain way where it's able to pound my ass whilst I stroke myself with a fleshlight. That could be interesting! Maybe if you attached it to your lower back bone?

So the downers for me are just the noise even though it's not too crazy compared to other similar devices. I swear, this would be the most AMMMMAAAAAZZZINGdevice ever if it was silent and had a slower stroke setting. The slowest is still pretty fast in my opinion. I wish it had a visual indication of what speed it's on. It would also be cool if there were more extensions that the one it comes with. Not that it's not great as it is, it does the job very well but am curious how a longer sleeve would be. Not quite ready to destroy a fleshlight yet to find out.

Of course there are long term issues that I may not be aware of here like recharging and durability of the extensions/straps etc. Thankfully you can buy extra straps, remotes, extensions should those break. My device charged fully (green light) in just under 2 hours. In the instructions it says that from now on it should take 1 hour to recharge. I'm curious how long it lasts now until it needs to do that.

Apart from that I think this is just the most incredible thing ever. Hands free masturbation that works and isn't uncomfortable in the slightest. How the HELL is this not the biggest thing since the Fleshlight? I think it may be because it's just a small UK based company that have created this. I really hope it takes off and variations/improvements are made. But for some reason nobody appears to be buying or talking about this amazing secret.



Our reply; We know our website presence is not huge but we are working on it. Humpus sales are doing very well and have on occasions it has compleatly sold out due to unexpected surge`s in sales. We now manufacture double the amount of Humpus than we did 6 months ago.

Thank you again Kenman2626 and happy humping!